"My Journey"
I've been on a journey to myself.the deepest part of my soul, the very life of who I am.This is a very scary place to travel because I get an unobstructed view of the things that I've spent a lifetime denying. At times this process makes me feel powerless, helpless and more vulnerable than I ever thought I could feel.
I'm staring at the image of someone who's always been there who I've never wanted to know was there because I had a hard time accepting it and the pain-the weaknesses, the needs, the feelings I've always found a way of running away from. But they are there and there's no use avoiding them anymore - they're a part of me.
In my struggle to accept my past in my present I have reached a point of no return.I am emotionally and spiritually bankrupt.all my pretense has left me.Yet a sigh of relief-I don't have to cover up anymore. I can let go of my mistakes and my coping mechanisms I learned to get love and attention.I can accept myself, my needs and wants fully with sweet surrender allowing peace to flood my very soul.
I don't have to be afraid to choose the path my heart is seeking. I don't have to worry about what others may think. I can make decisions based on who I am without loosing myself again. I can be kind to myself. I can choose to never let self-contempt rule me. I don't have to compare myself to anyone else. There is only one of me in the universe. I am not a mistake. I can be true to myself and allow no one to disquiet me. I will strive for peace and self-acceptance. I don't have to blame others when I cannot accept myself.
I am worthy of being loved. I can choose to expect and accept love. I will welcome those in my life who see me as I am without the necessity of having walls of pretense, power, money or any other obstacle which gets in the way of genuine togetherness as friends. I can live in joy, richness, and quality of life without making power, money, prestige or manipulation the focal point of my existence. I will endeavor to enjoy who I am now, see myself clearly and be able to laugh at myself and my weaknesses, leaving perfectionism far behind me.
Yes, my journey has been a difficult one. Each new day will bring with it another set of challenges to believe in who I am and what I can do with God's help. Lord, fill me, lead me, and help me to live life to its' fullest. Allow me the privilege of sharing my blessings with others.
Written by Kirsteen McDowall
Founder and Owner of Balancing Life
www.balancinglife.biz
